Far Behind

Narcissism is ugly. I love punk songs. 

Joke Ninja

After my numerous attacks just this week, which is very rare, I decided to share this notable finding that is recent in discovery. My husband and I have this thing called a sense-of-humor that we hold so dear to us. Basically, this was icing on cake along with the two essentials to a happy marriage: looks and theology. Many people find our jokes either lame, which I will agree with them, but then when the great ones come out, we sit back and gaze at our accomplishment. Wow! Did I really tell an awesome joke? It was not until most recent after advancing in our joking skills that we were attacked. After saying something remotely funny, we just leave the joke there and end it fast without laughing at our own joke (so lame). That’s how anyone with brains would encounter a joke. That’s not the case for this group. If someone adds on to the joke or tries to recreate the joke in their less funny way while laughing at themselves, then they succeeded at butchering the joke to death. After much grief with these attacks, my husband and I decided to research these unskilled people. As we continued this journey to find the correct term, we came across the history of violent ninjas. Right then, we knew this was the progressive movement from physical violence in what is called “Joke Ninja.” It was more difficult to trace their history as it seems to be prevailing today as today’s culture becomes more hypersensitive wet sacks. To grasp more of this interesting finding, I only find it essential to share this astonishing history.



Ninja History


In 522 A.D., Nonuse ("the art of stealth") was first introduced to Japan as a religion practiced by priests. These priests were not violent people, they were "mystics" who gathered and shared information for the ruling classes.


It wasn't until 645 A.D. that the priests perfected their fighting skills and made use of their knowledge of nonuse. This was because they found themselves being harassed by the central government and found it necessary to protect themselves.


In 794-1192 A.D. the new civilization flourished and with it, a new class of wealthy, privileged families. These families fought with one another in attempts to make or destroy emperors. The need for spies, informants and now assassins grew as these families dueled for power. They were suspicious and jealous of one another and would resort to any means necessary to eliminate any possible threats. Therefore, the practitioners of nonuse were in great demand. With this, the ninja was born.


These ninjas flourished the world for thousands of years until most recently in the 20th century, the practitioners of nonuse divided. Some grew more violent, while the others decided killing humans was lame and wanted to move onto something new and less bloody. This group noticed this new trait in humans called a sense-of-humor. As they stood back practicing information they gathered from humorous people, they decided to gage in violence once again around the beginning of the 21st century. This time, they will hold back their ninja weapons to only attack the joke itself. With this, the joke ninja was born.

You never know who will butcher a joke. It could be your sibling, spouse, close friend, parents, or even your grandparents. Once the joke ninja appears, then BAM! Out of nowhere, a joke falls to its death and leaves the crowd in complete frustration and awkwardness. There is no way in stopping this group as they are progressive and are here to stay. You have been warned.

"Joke Ninja, out to kill your jokes."--JD Ketterman

God Exists to Make Me Happy

Those who follow my facebook are aware of my recent post on Anne Rice leaving Christianity or the Catholic Church that is…who knows. Anne Rice is a best-selling American author of gothic, erotic, and Christian-themed books.

The news article concerning Rice leaving Christianity may be somewhat misleading as Rice tries to explain that she isn’t giving up on Christ, but just the followers. It doesn’t come to much surprise from a Catholic with an “in and out” past. I must admit, I never followed her books and only listened a few times on radio stations or thru the news. The most troubling thing about her last post on facebook was just reading the comments from her fans. You had some not agree with her decision to ditch the followers of Christ, while others are praising her for her decision and go on to explain you don’t have to go to church to be a Christian…just do good things! My favorite comment of all is “Do what’s best for you, if it makes you feel good.” What they are commending is for someone to look deeper and deeper within themselves to gain inner experience of what is true and false. I would be interested in the outcome if that statement was given to Charles Manson or any other murderer outside of prison.



For those who do take the advice to “do what’s best for you, if it makes you feel good” is encouraging that person to further themselves from Christ. Christ tells us to stop looking to ourselves for answers! When we look to ourselves for truth, we are held captive to our own bondage. Christianity is quite simple…just sit, and receive His judgment and His grace. I love Mike Horton’s book, “Christless Christianity.” My Church had a study on this book and used his famous logo, “Don’t just do something…sit there!” This is a perfect way to explain how simple Christianity is. You don’t have to pile a list of “To Do” items, such as, not drinking or smoking, homeschooling kids, voting Republican, etc. Some of these items are from my own experience from my Mormon days as well as past experiences in churches I have witnessed or attended.


Why does there always have to be a “To Do List” to Christianity? It is rather simple to fall into this as the “Christian Way.” My first experience stepping inside a Christian Church was rather refreshing coming from a Mormon background. I just sat and listened to God’s Word being preached. For the very first time in my life, I was being feed His Word and didn’t have to do a thing but receive His grace. I am thankful that the very first Church was Christ-centered in their worship. Many churches use morals or politics to feed their congregants as this is new and relevant to our generation. As Christians, we need to look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).


I couldn’t end this blog without recommending Mike Horton’s book, “Christless Christianity.” You can visit the website at www.christlesschristianity.org.


“Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” (Isa. 6:5).

Birth Control--Just one click away from your TV remote

I haven't updated my blog in a while. I blame this on my fully occupied life. I have been consumed with tons of work and my son's extreme developmental growth that I haven't had the energy to post anything worthwhile. I try to post articles that stand out rather than typical boring articles that may leave viewers assuming my life is lame. Well, I guess I could possibly fall into that category...moving along; I noticed a change in reality series. Yes, I am a huge reality show junkie. My husband is planning on buying me my own TV for the upstairs so he can watch his own shows in the basement in peace. What a sweet man I married to allow the woman to control the remote…sometimes that is.



There are many family oriented shows out there to express how rough it is to raise a family or how unique a large family is. I have been jumping back-and-forth from Teen Mom, Kate Plus 8, 19 Kids and Counting, and Raising Sextuplets. I heard some time ago that the abortion rate dropped and there has been an increase in child birth. It is a true blessing to hear, but such shows as Teen Mom call teen childbearing an “epidemic”. I really detest the word epidemic when relating to a child. I don’t agree with these women getting pregnant outside of marriage.  It then leads the teen to feel obligated to marry the person who they most likely don’t love and then it will reflect the way they raise a child. To give the teens positive feedback, I do find it encouraging that they chose the selfless gift of having their children and expressing to other teens how it’s not always easy as they may think.  My solution to preventing pregnancy for those outside of marriage…don’t have sex. Now, in my case as a married woman with a child, I choose to space my children out. Watching these shows is my "free" birth control without the pill or doctors note.  All you need is cable TV!


Many may think it is a joke, but with all honesty it isn't. Let me be clear that I absolutely LOVE children and believe they are a blessing from God. I am Pro-Life and do believe God provides all things necessary to raise children. I am not so quick to having another one right away while I am watching 6 little Isaiah's running around destroying a home and getting sick all at once on TV. These parents are phenomenal!


My favorite family reality show is “Raising Sextuplets” on the WE channel. If anyone has watched the show, it is nowhere comparable to "Jon & Kate Plus 8" or what my husband now calls "Jon & Kate Separate". I just hope those 6 little babies don't turn into lil brats like the Gosselin family...ooops did I say that? One thing I appreciate about the show is their martial commitment.   They realize their marriage isn't perfect, but they meet with the Pastor and a Dr. to counsel their marriage difficulties. I don't find anything wrong with that. In fact, I nearly puke when I hear of couples who claim they never fight. What comedians those couples are! At times I know my husband and I need to take a break from our own personal readings and read martial counseling books. We only have a 4 year dent in our marriage, so we do plan on longer happy years together. Not to mention, the parent’s relationship has a tremendous impact on their child's life. I am blessed to say that my parents are still together (hard to find in this generation) and happily married. They raised all 9 of us and now that we are all grown and out of the house, they travel and do many date nights. If my parents didn't share this love to our family, I can only imagine how this would affect our own families today.

I truly believe that God is in control of blessing us with children and no child is a "mistake." I may scare many Moms or even my own family with admitting that I just go with the flow to parenting. I find many parenting books lame and believe that God helps to sustain me as a parent...why else would He bless me with one? I look forward to the time God blesses me with another child, but today I enjoy my little dude, Isaiah. He is an awesome kid that fills our house with laughter and fun. It’s amazing how a child can positively affect a family. I just hope the same applies to his teens. I know, I know…I am dreaming. :)

Fear Not!

A very tragic event in my family occurred on Friday, May 28th. My Uncle took his own life at age 50. At the moment I received the call from my sister informing me of this, I had a hard time reacting to the sad news. I treated it like any bad news I hear in the media about a death. Not because I am insensitive, but I never knew my Uncle. This wasn't by choice, but my Uncle committed a crime that locked him up for years since I was very young and didn't understand why. It was very sad to hear of his death, but even sadder to hear he did this to himself. His death brought much confusion and grief to my family since he would have been let out in November 2011. I am not certain if my Uncle was a Christian, but I do remember hearing wonderful stories from my Dad as he gave the eulogy at his funeral and read many Bible passages as well as poems. It was very sad that the only way I got to know my Uncle was at his funeral. I was very thankful to attend his funeral to hear of his childhood stories and spend that grieving moment with my family. I believe my Grandmother took it the hardest to bury her own baby boy.

As I exited the funeral, I still felt very sad. This was not because of my Uncle's sad past, but because the funeral dwelled on his good works. I remember becoming Christian and asked my husband if anything ever happened to me I DO NOT want anyone to deliver any eulogies. It is not comforting to dwell at a funeral on the dead person’s good works. When we die, we dare not stand before God claiming how good we are. So that must not be the emphasis at a funeral. Besides, I believe many people to be dishonest about me. I am not a good person, straight A student, Mommy of the year, etc.

The dead person’s only hope is the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Instead of searching for good words to say about the person who died, we should deflect attention to a Person who died and rose again. We should preach Jesus — the cross, the atonement, the imputation of His righteousness, the resurrection — as the victor over death, hell, and the grave.

This beautiful message is comforting and our only hope, but that's not to say it still leaves us hurt at a funeral.



R.I.P.
Richard Ashley Wilkinson
August 14, 1959- May 28, 2010

Through Christian Eyes

My family and I had the opportunity to spend a nice long weekend in upstate NY. We were visiting our good friends who we met through church in Virginia. We truly missed them and decided we should pay a visit before Baby Bayer is brought into the world this July. Before traveling up there, we made a list of places we wanted to see while in the Rochester area. We chose Palmyra since I wanted to share my past belief to my friends.

I decided to share my thoughts after visiting Palmyra this past weekend. I hope this doesn't offend my LDS friends, but rather shares my side of the story as an "apostate" as I have been called from their Bishops before.

The first stop on our visit to Palmyra, NY was Hill Cumorah. I thought it was a great stop since this Hill has encountered so much LDS history. We stopped inside the Visitor Center where we were greeted from one of the lady Elders (missionaries). She brought us inside the room where a large statue of Jesus Christ is and shared her testimony in a soft spoken voice and then played a recording of Jesus Christ's voice. Sitting there was pretty uncomfortable for me since I didn’t want to tell them I am an ex-Mormon. It brought so many memories back to me as a Mormon and how my family would visit the temple often and sit through the same repeated "events."

The Elder then took us to the room where they would play a 20 minute video of Joseph Smith's history. It was the same video I once saw back in 2003-2004 and at that time it would make me ball. This time around, I did find myself crying but for a different reason. There wasn't an ounce of Christ in those videos but about a sinful man who many idol over. Joseph Smith was portrayed in the movie as a perfect guy who wanted nothing more than to find the "true church". It was pretty upsetting to see how the LDS faith views the Christian faith as a whole. In the film, you see Joseph walking around town with his family where those crazy Christian preachers were yelling at each corner "you must be saved" or "you’re going to burn in hell" etc. It's not a shocker they would illustrate the Christian faith this way. After all they are sectarian and view themselves as the only "true church". I actually ended up walking out of the film. Not because it was too much, but Isaiah was screaming and I wanted my friends to watch it in peace.

I waited in the Visitor/museum section of the place while Isaiah was running around screaming trying to grab everything in sight. As I was looking at everything, I found it shocking there are no artifacts from a suppose war on this Hill that resulted in tens of thousands of men from around 421 A.D. Not to mention, it was nothing but Joseph Smith history. You think they would explain their history from the battle from the Book of Mormon between the Lamanites and Nephites and share some type of visual proof. After my husband and friends exited the film, they were a little weirded out that the woman ended with saying "I can feel your soft spirits in this room" and later closed with her testimony. To me, it was normal of the LDS members to do this. I think it was just strange this time around that I was actually viewed as a "lost soul." Pretty funny really.

Before leaving the visitor center to make our hike up the Hill, I chuckled as I saw tissue boxes at each corner. I remember how sappy and sentimental my faith was. How I actually thought I could perfect myself and just have "faith" without the historical facts to back me up. It truly shows how the church operates through the deceitful heart of sinners. I remember this being my greatest weapon to further my distance from my relationship with God. I had a gushy spiritual feeling that was nothing but a load of crap. My faith was nothing different from Satan himself who tempted Adam and Eve in the Garden to eat the fruit.

As we walked up the very top of Hill Cumorah, I remember questioning how a dude could walk alone down this tall hill with 50lbs of the suppose golden plates and make it home without someone seeing him for 3-4 miles? To me this makes no sense! Apart from no artifacts found on the Hill from the time of 421 A.D., this to me left many holes in their story, but I suppose the whole "faith" tactic could be used.

My friends were obviously clueless while on top of Hill when reading the statue of Angel Moroni, who was the Angel that placed the plates for Joseph Smith to later retrieve. The first 3 witnesses of the faith are no longer LDS…why was this? Was there something about their “true church” that didn’t necessarily appear true? And why is this never mentioned as much while at the Hill Cumorah? As we looked puzzled, there were young Elders at the top of the Hill who didn’t even approach us. Yet, they were flirting with the 3 young ladies up there and impressed them with running down the Hill. These are called missionaries? Anywho…we were thankful for the older Elders to hand out some flyers with dates, but it still left us scratching our heads.

Our next venture was to Joseph Smith’s log home, frame home, and the famous sacred grove. As we settled at the home, an older Elder saw us from the window and ran to the exit door in order to catch our attention by saying “would you like a tour?” We couldn’t resist, since he seemed willing and sweet. Again, Isaiah was cranky from no nap and ran around for the older ladies to feed him pretzels. They were very kind to him, which made him want to ditch us and hang out with them. Our tour guide (Elder Shumway…will never forget his name) first asked our small group of 5 adults “Are you guys part of the LDS church?” I was amazed they asked this, but obviously we did stick out a little. I didn’t bother saying I use to be, since I was afraid they would treat me differently. We all answered "no" and he then went into the history of the sacred grove, Hill Cumorah and Joseph Smith. He was such a patient sweet old man, but this made me sad for him. As he came close to the end of the tour, I asked how heavy the plates were and my husband asked where the plates were today. They were very simple, yet important questions. Elder Shumway seemed nervous, but did answer it the way any typical LDS would really. We already knew this, but just thought we ask to confirm. We didn’t bother debating nor fighting back with tough questions. Instead, we remained respectful since we were on their grounds, and let’s face it, 5 adults against one elderly guy? Wouldn’t seem fair!

After he ended the tour, he bore his testimony the way any typical LDS would, “I believe this is the true church of Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ, etc.” He then offered us a copy of the Book of Mormon along with other pamphlets. He noticed I had a son and my friend was pregnant and even made a point how the church is all about family. I knew they would, since it is an easy way to attract people. The pamphlets they handed out on family were nothing that would offend someone outside their faith. As a Christian, I think it’s great they try to practice strong healthy families, but this isn't religion really. It is similar how Christless groups and the LDS use the benefits as a way to lure people into their religion. It's quite sad really, because the gospel itself is what gives growth alone.

The adventure was a bit strange to me since I haven't stepped foot inside an LDS sacrament meeting for over 6 years. I did take myself off their roles prior to my baptism in May 2005 and received a letter from them discontinuing "blessings and prayers" for me. Is it even stranger that I have a file at home labeled "Mormon"?

Over all, the trip to Palmyra was a huge flashback on sad memory lane. Let me make it known that I love Mormons! It makes it even harder that my family that I love and respect dearly is caught up in this. They use the same theological vocabulary a Christian would, yet redefines the meaning.
The Bible ALONE is the written revelation of God, complete and sufficient in all respects. The Scriptures are "God-breathed" and therefore fully authoritative in and of themselves; they rely for their authority upon no church, council, or creed, but are authoritative simply because they are the Word of God. There is NO need of a "second Bible" that the LDS claim.
If you are an LDS friend reading this, I hope you actually study the Bible apart from the BoM. If you have questions and/or concerns with me, then please send me an email or even drop by my house. I would actually love to invite a Mormon family willing to discuss the scriptures into my home. Not to simply debate like dogs, but share both sides of the fence. I have heard the warm fuzzy testimony's they have given. I want some meat in your spiritual conviction, meaning deep theology and/or historical facts. Not a simple testimony recording you give the first Sunday of each month, but something with actual substance.

In closing, before Christ’s crucifixion, Jesus promised that the gates of hell would not prevail against His church (Matthew 16:18). However, an LDS would argue that the gates of hell did prevail against Christ’s church since their Prophet Joseph Smith states all churches are wrong. Who should we believe?

Eternity is a long time to be wrong.

Did I marry Rudy?

Did I marry Rudy? If you have never seen this film, then you will be completely lost. Rudy was a true story about a young guy who lived in a blue collar town that dreamed about being part of the Notre Dame Football team. After the tragic death of his friend, he felt more motivated to go out to Notre Dame. He later reaches out to a Priest who signs him up for a community College and makes a promise if he gets good grades to enroll him at Notre Dame. You then see a hardworking man who does anything to reach his goal. Well, obviously his dream does come true, but it wasn’t easy. Now, how do I parallel this to my husband? Well, hopefully you can see the connection in this post.

Many people who know my husband know he doesn't like to reveal too much except for the following subjects: politics, theology, books, seminary, history, music, martial arts, cigars, beer & liquor, video games, metal shows, guns, and how awesome his wife and son are. If you fail to engage in any of these subject discussions, then you will only get a quiet boring man. I remember meeting my husband for the very first time and instantly thought he was a hottie. He wore nasty old Chuck Taylor’s, rugged independent hat that hid his much needed hair cut, blue button up shirt that wasn't ironed, and nasty ripped jeans. I didn’t know at our first “meet” (still don’t consider that our first date) that I would marry such a passionate man.

As many of my close friends know, John was my witness. Our dates involved the Bible and catechism. We know how to have a good time…sorry you envy us for such awesome dates! [insert sarcasm] He didn’t know right away that he wanted to get into the ministry, but once he did after we married in 2006 he started to look for schools that were affordable and somewhat decent to finish up his B.A. He has been attending Washington Bible College and has less than 9 months away from graduating in Biblical Studies. The next step in this process is finding the right seminary to attend that will teach sound reformed doctrine and hopefully at the right price. We are drawn to Westminster Theological Seminary in CA, but the cost of living in the San Diego area is crazy expensive. My husband reminds me that he has choices, but he constantly falls back to Westminster CA. Either way, we are looking into ditching the DC area and possibly the East Coast entirely. We have never moved far from our family and friends, so the pressure is on! Many of our family and friends do not understand why we have to move, but then again they view any school is good. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case when it comes to the ministry. You don’t want to attend a school where you feel like the minority with your theological views. It’s best to attend a school where you love the staff and professors and their teaching. The goal is to move the entire family out there in hopes we don’t survive off of ramon noodles alone. We do hope to have tons of support from churches and family. Something we have been praying about.

 I can’t help but feel more gratitude each and everyday, as God works in my husband’s life and the rest of our family. I can only praise God for His divine grace and mercy in saving me, a wretched sinner. God works in amazing ways in His children and throughout their lives. I see the gratitude that Paul had now more than ever going from Church persecutor to Gospel preacher to the Gentiles. As many are aware, my husband wasn’t always Christian. He was once a Church persecutor, and now maybe through the grace of God my husband will be half the preacher Paul was. Seminary is the next stepping stone, but that doesn’t end his goal in the ministry. I hope my husband can feel ½ the excitement Rudy did when dressed in his first game at Notre Dame, although not in a papist setting and rather through a Reformed Christian point-of-view. ;)